Return

Wow. It's been a long time since I posted here, I'd actually forgot it was here. But as I lay in bed one night, filled with so many emotions that were bottled inside, like the boiling magma in the volcano, I knew I needed a place to release them freely, where no one would be upset or angered or insulted by them, where I would not face scrutiny by those close to me, where I can most be myself...yet never truly known. Oh I do love a good paradox.

So, how long's it been? Two years? A hell of a lot has happened since then. Health, illness, love, hurt, joy, pain... The things that make up our lives more than anything. I fell in love, my heart was broken, and broken again, and again, because I was foolish and to coward to do what I should have done. I got past that, eventually, and fell in love with someone far more deserving. I've made friends, I've lost friends, and there are people... I have no idea what they are to me. I'd like them to be friends but... who knows? There have been family bereavements, too many, far too many. My health has deteriorated. I have new passions in life, I've moved on from old ones. I've developed more as a person. I have new outlooks on the world, not all as bleak as once they were, some bleaker still.

I don't know how long this will last, it's very likely it'll be another two years till I return. But it's here for me, right? At least it will always be there.